Saturday, October 15, 2011

A Very Disgusting Spider Story

Yesterday while sweeping the back porch, Lily started yelling "Mom there's a big ugly spider on the back door." I looked over and saw this giant white thing that looked like some sort of rock and said "That's not a spider."
Lily: "Are you sure because it has big legs like a spider?"
I took a closer look and about died. It was a giant red spider with a huge white ball thing on it's back. I don't usually eliminate creatures that are outside my house but this one was a little too close for comfort. I had Lily go get Jacob and course he thought we were pathetic but agreed to help us anyway. It took about 10 minutes of brain-storming just to figure out how to get rid of it. I wouldn't let him step on it because then I would have to make him throw his shoes away. We finally decided a rock would do the trick. Lily: "I hope it's not POISONOUS!!!"( I wonder where she get's her dramatics from:) I won't go into details because it's too gross but lets just say it was a messy one. That thing on it's back was some sort of white fluid filled sack. I didn't want the remains left on the porch so I had Jacob get a stick and move it. Jacob had the genius idea of picking it up with a stick then dragging it across the kids bucket of toys and of course it fell off right in the bucket. I was mortified. There was now a huge mess inside their toy bucket so I had to wipe it out and bleach the bucket and all the toys. Even still I'm not satisfied. I had the hardest time eating dinner because I could not stop thinking about it. I finally gave up and threw it away. I was literally sick to my stomach. I was afraid I would have nightmares about it but luckily I didn't. In fact I hardly thought of it at all today until I was making lunch. I was stirring a pot of mac and cheese when Lily came in and said....
Lily: "Mom how come it's white and not yellow?"
Me:" because it's white cheese not cheddar."
Lily: "And how come the noodles look different?"
Me: " Because they are shell noodles instead of regular macaroni noodles."
Lily: " Hey kind of like that spider from yesterday."
Me: "Well so much for lunch."


Adam said...

Haha! very nice. By the way, the sack was probably its eggs.

Becky said...

Do really have to throw away every pair of shoes that you use to squish a spider?